How to Find Optimism in Death (Click to see more)

How to Find Optimism in Death

I didn’t want this to be my story, but you can’t always control the cards you are dealt. What you can control though is how you play those cards. It’s tough to always see the good in situations that are filled with so much sadness, but it is possible. There is a way to see beauty, inspiration, and hope in just about every circumstance life presents you with. Losing my mom to domestic violence at age 6 was single handedly the worst thing I ever had to endure, but I didn’t let it dictate my happiness and you don’t have to let death own yours either.

When people meet me, I’m typically perceived as a positive person who sees the world through optimistic lenses. As soon as anyone learns my truth though, they are immediately shocked and usually respond with something along the lines of “but you’re so normal”. It makes me smile knowing this is the impression I leave on others, but living life cheerfully is all that I know. I realize that although it may seem “normal” for me to carry on in this way, the general public has a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that it’s possible to be happy after going through such tragedy. For those still suffering don’t worry, as it’s never too late to change your outlook on life. Below are the ways in which I choose to find the good in sadness:

1.)    Personal Guardian Angel - One of the ways I deal with the pain is realizing how lucky I am to have such a strong guardian angel protecting me always. I think that’s where it all starts, having faith. I’m not talking about faith in a religious sense, but more so trusting in a higher power. I truly believe that loved ones who have passed are still capable of touching you even though they aren’t actually present. I feel my mom with me constantly and persevere knowing that she is looking over every move I make.

2.)    Someone to Make Proud - I strive to live life in a way that would make my mom proud if she were physically here. Feeling as though someone is always watching encourages me to make a conscious effort to tune into the most noble version of myself.  That sounds ridiculous I know, but it really does feel good to be a good person. If not for yourself, for the loved ones looking down.

3.)    Turning Pain into Fuel - It’s tough not having a loved one with you throughout each step of life, especially for the big things. Instead of being discouraged by not having my mom physically present, I like to believe she is watching my every step and cheering me on along the way. When challenges arise I persist not only for myself, but in my mom’s honor.

4.) No Drama - Losing a loved one really puts life into perspective. Common complaints of everyday minor issues suddenly feel so trivial. As sad as my mom’s death is/was/forever will be, it has shaped the way I view the world. Small minded conversations about things that don’t actually mater no longer have a place in my head space. Releasing myself of this has truly led to a positive mindset with little worry about anything petty.

5.) Living Life with Intent - I try to live life in the best way that I can because I want to accomplish everything for the both of us. It’s not that I wanted my mom’s death to be my purpose in life but it has given me one.

Overall, there are ways to find optimism in death. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying in any way, shape or form that death is something positive. I’m just saying that it’s something manageable and there are ways to see the glass “half-full” to increase the overall quality of your life. Being happy is a choice, and YOU are the one who gets to choose.