The Importance of Who You Surround Yourself With After Tragedy (Click to see more)
I was required to go to therapy after my mother’s murder, but it was something much more that led to my success in finding “normalcy” throughout my adolescence. This then carried into adulthood and continues to play a big part in my life to this day. What am I referring to you might ask? FRIENDSHIP.
I have had the same best friend since I was 10 years old (almost 17 years to this date) and while I am thankful for her for so many reasons, the biggest is her positive impact on my life. Growing up without either parent, no siblings and just my grandparents raising me, it was very easy to feel alone. When I read an article earlier this month about the significant risk of ever-increasing harm to the child’s physical, emotional and social development after being exposed to domestic violence the statistics blew my mind. The behavioral issues that these children are faced with are so severe, I suddenly felt very blessed that I had not experienced any of what the study suggested.
It’s extremely easy to go down a dark path after any kind of tragedy, which is why WHO you surround yourself with is so vital. Although my best friend and I are the same age, I feel like she unknowingly raised me in a sense by being a strong role model. Some of the important qualities she exudes are rationalism, stability, intelligence, and selflessness plus a million others (I know she is perfect people!!!) In all seriousness though, I believe that these 4 traits are crucial in shaping oneself into a well-rounded human being.
Rationalism – I have always been more of the free spirit type, while my best friend is the complete opposite. It’s great to be a dreamer and take risks, but it’s also imperative to make clear decisions. Having a logical confidant to run things by helps me to think clearly instead of impulsively.
Stability – Consistency is a key factor in maintaining a stable life. I know that my best friend has been/will always be there for me no matter what.
Intelligence – To become the best version of yourself, it’s important to put yourself in the presence of those that lift you higher mentally. The saying that you are similar to the 5 people you spend the most time with could not be more true, so chose wisely!
Selflessness – It’s easy to get used to getting your own way, but in order to be a good friend/girlfriend/family member sacrifices are sometimes required. This shows your appreciation for their presence in your life. Doing something that means little to you but everything to someone else is important because the person is important to you.
I know that most likely not everyone’s best friend is going to have all of these characteristics but making a conscious effort to surround yourself with friends that have even some of these qualities can be more important than you realize. I feel so lucky to have my very own angel on earth in the form of a best friend, and truly believe that she has helped me to find “normalcy” throughout life.